I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to post this. But since a few lovely people on Twitter were very supportive, and I tend to feel better about issues once I write them down, here it goes.
You know that people say high school sucks, and that your time at university is going to be the best time of your life? Well, those people are wrong, at least in my case.
In high school I had a fantastic group of friends. There were three girls and four guys I saw basically every single day. We spent time in class together, saw each other on the weekends, and even if we didn’t meet in the flesh I tended to speak to most of them every day, either on Skype or MSN or in a computer game.
Come university time, we were spread all over the country. At first, many of us went to the same uni. Within a year, most of us decided this uni wasn’t for us, and we spread even more.
And then everyone started building a new life for themselves. They got new friends, new hobbies, new interests. The only time I see them is on birthdays. They went from being people I saw every single day to acquaintances you only make small talk with once in a while. And I completely get it and I don’t blame them, but I’m the one who got left behind.
I tried to make friends at my new university. Sadly, I’m studying a dying course, having only nine classmates, all female. After a long series of disappointments, of failed plans and awkward conversations, I discovered that clearly a small group doesn’t mean a tight one.
So I did the sensible thing to do when you’re lonely – find a club. I joined two book clubs. One I couldn’t stay in because of time constraints – the other disbanded without anyone even telling me. I’ve been in two ballet classes, but in both there aren’t any people my age.
I feel like I constantly meet new people, both in real life and online, but none of them truly stick. We might have a nice chat once in a while, but it never becomes a habit.
And for me the worst thing is that this has been going on for years. I haven’t truly been part of a group of friends since high school – and I graduated in 2011. The only people that ever text me or call me are by boyfriend and my mom. And they’re both lovely, but they can’t fill this void with just the two of them.
So yeah. If you’re lonely too, I’d love to be your friend.
Addendum: Thank you all for the absolutely amazing comments and messages. I appreciate every one of them 🙂